Established in fullness, one meets to give, and therefore, gains most from any interaction. In this way the individual becomes the basis for harmony and peace in his environment and this peaceful influence spreads to his society and the world.

Secrets for gaining the most from your surroundings with least effort
Part 7 — The secret of successful social behaviour

(For parts 1- 6 of this series entitled 'Secrets for gaining the most from your surroundings with least effort', see June, July, and September Excellence in Action archives.)
by Global Good News staff writer
24 September 2007

The benefits of successful, harmonious social behaviour are extensive and cannot be overlooked. Today, when world peace and security is still threatened by the social tensions and hostility prevalent in a number of countries, it is interesting to analyze social behaviour on an individual level and its ramifications in the collective behaviour of a country.

Positive social behaviour is the basis of world peace

In his book, The Science of Being and Art of Living, His Holiness Maharishi Mahesh Yogi discusses the effects of harmonious social behaviour, not only for individual life, but also for the entire world. Maharishi points out that the art of successful social behaviour not only improves and satisfies the individual life, but it improves the atmosphere, brings it more harmony, and reduces fear, hatred, tension, cruelty, and antagonism. The art of behaviour makes the life of the individual happy, brings greater harmony to family life, produces more love, kindness, and harmony in society, and improves the social relationship in the international world.

Maharishi points out that the tensions and hostility in society have their roots in the disharmony between individuals and within families. Improving individual peace and individual behaviour directly reduces tensions in society.

The first fundamental of social behaviour is meet to give

Maharishi gives some profound insights and some helpful hints about social behaviour. Maharishi explains that ‘the purpose of social behaviour is to give and take help for mutual benefit. One should meet the other either to give or take. No, mainly to give, and when they meet to give the best of themselves to each other, then both gain the maximum. On the contrary, if both meet and expect the maximum from each other, each in his attempt to gain from the other has closed his door to giving, and thus no one gains from the relationship except disappointment, resulting in tension on both sides.’

This concept of meeting to give seems like clear, obvious common sense. However, in the fast-paced life of today, how many people take a short cut in their personal relations or business relations, forgetting about giving, while focusing, first and foremost, on what they need to receive? This selfish short cut in relationships can disturb the fabric of love and kindness, which is essential to harmonize individuals and society.

Maharishi reminds the reader that the basic fundamental of behaviour should be to give—to meet with warmth, and meet to give. There is a common proverb that in giving one receives. Maharishi points out that if all people in a society behaved on the level of giving, the entire society would receive enhancement and enjoy progress. Maharishi offers the following advice on giving:

‘When you are going to meet someone, think what you are going to give him, whether it be a concrete gift of a beautiful object, words of greeting, warm sympathy, praise, adoration, love, elevating advice, or good news for his body, mind, or soul. There must be something for you to give when you meet someone. Just a “hello” and “how do you do” cannot produce a wave of love and joyfulness at the meeting. The art of behaviour is such that the first moment of the meeting should have a real value of the meeting of two hearts.’

The question arises: Yes, a giving attitude is clearly beneficial, but this cannot be contrived. How does one cultivate the heart to give?

Ability to give comes from inner contentment

Maharishi agrees that only contented hearts and minds can think in terms of giving. To culture eternal contentment, one need only experience one’s own inner bliss consciousness, through the practice of Maharishi’s Transcendental Meditation Technique. Transcendental Mediation enlivens the very basis of ideal social behaviour by establishing the individual’s awareness in inner fullness, while also enabling him to think clearly. Through the practice, the qualities of tolerance, love, kindness, and joyfulness naturally blossom in one’s own nature.

Often disharmonious social behaviour stems from a misunderstanding or an overreaction to some ill-humoured remark. If one’s heart is hardened, without the quality of love, then a small mistake or imperfect action can spur repercussions of enmity and social relationships may be spoiled. On the other hand, when one has expanded vision, tolerance, joyfulness, and a loving attitude, even a mistake from the environment, stirs more love and forgiveness. Like a mother with her child, a mistake allows the mother to give more.

Maharishi also points out that although polished language and good manners are helpful and necessary, the real refinement of heart and mind comes from the practice of Transcendental Meditation, which cultures an expanded consciousness. With expanded perspective, one can see the whole situation accurately and assess the other person’s needs in order to give maximum. A clear, strong, contented mind, with good judgement and broadened perspective, and a joyful heart, filled with love and tolerance, enables both parties to gain. In addition the entire atmosphere thrills with the influence of love, kindness, harmony, and peace.

Making best use of one’s surroundings

How often have we heard someone blaming his surroundings for some adverse effect in his life? Maharishi points out that it is the quality of one’s mind that determines one’s ability to make use of his surroundings. The quality of the surroundings does not so much matter. What matters is whether a person’s mind is grounded in contentment and joyfulness. If a person’s mind is miserable, then he will multiply that misery in what he sees in his environment. Therefore, Maharishi gives the following as the first principle for making the most of one’s surroundings:

‘…The first principle that will make us live the art of behaviour is to make our mind blissful, peaceful, harmonious, fresh, and intelligent by the practice of Transcendental Meditation….when the mind is brought to the level of Being, the body is also brought to that level. Thus, by our thought, word, and action—and even by our very presence—we vibrate a good influence of life and peace, harmony and joyfulness, around us.’

One is responsible for creating a positive atmosphere

Maharishi emphasizes that one is responsible for the atmosphere around him. A person creates the atmosphere and in turn receives its influence. Each person has the ability to make his surroundings and circumstances favourable or unfavourable.

Maharishi points out: ‘The atmosphere is there for us to use and not for making us miserable. If someone has said something, it is his action, his responsibility in saying it. If it is useful to us, we enjoy it, accept it, think about it, act on it, and derive benefit from it. But if it is not useful and not elevating or favourable to us, then we do not think of it again and again; we do not attend to it. If it happens to be an expression of something bad, and if we are not responsible for it, and the speaker thrusts the responsibility for the wrong on us, then he is in the wrong. We do not bring that wrong to mind and mull it over and over. If we do so, we are putting a bad thought in our mind, which was not our own fault in the first place.’

Radiate a positive attitude and maintain indifference to negative situations

Maharishi gives some additional, helpful advice regarding how to react to potentially negative influences in one’s surroundings. Maharishi recommends maintaining positive and elevating thoughts and behaviour. If there is something negative in the environment, one simply maintains indifference to that.

Maharishi: ‘Therefore, once and for all, we must make our mind such that it becomes a principle of life that we naturally think and act in a way that is elevating and beneficial to us. This way we derive great benefit and advantage for ourselves and others. We do not go for damaging or malicious thoughts, either to reject or accept them; indifference is the weapon to be used against any negative situation in life.

‘This is the art of behaviour. If someone has done us an injustice, we do not harbour it or think about it. Perhaps it was a mistake. If we permit it to affect our future actions toward him, we are not giving him the opportunity to improve in his relations with us, and we also suffer. Even if he does harbour ill feeling toward us, we will benefit him and ourselves if we still behave toward him with love and tolerance. In this way, we help the atmosphere to improve, and, with an improved atmosphere, we are better served.’

Thus, Maharishi reminds the reader that to improve relationships and to gain a positive influence from one’s surroundings, one must first improve one’s mind, and then ideal behaviour follows. By placing oneself in a state of harmony and joyfulness and peace and intelligence, one naturally and innocently radiates those qualities to one’s surroundings. Established in fullness, one meets to give, and therefore, gains most from any interaction. In this way the individual becomes the basis for harmony and peace in his environment and this peaceful influence spreads to his society and the world.

Copyright © 2007 Global Good News(sm) Service